Finding Love After 50: Where to meet men

Finding Love After 50:  Where to meet quality single men

©2009 Tom Blake – The expert on dating and finding love after 50

“Where should I go to meet quality men my age?” is the most frequently asked question I receive from women age 50+. I’ve been writing newspaper columns on finding love after 50 ever since my wife of six years cleaned out the house on Xmas Eve 1993 and moved out of my life.

This week, Sue, who lives in Los Angeles, California, emailed: “I’m widowed, attractive and easy to get along with, and have a modicum of intelligence to boot! Can you give me with some venues to meet nice, respectful men in my age group? I’ll be 62 in a couple of weeks. I look really good. I work full-time. I’m still raring to go. I’m just not sure where to go. I don’t do internet dating.”

I answered Sue—at the risk of discouraging her—by writing that there is no place in the Los Angeles area or anywhere across the US -where older single men congregate for the purpose of meeting quality women near their age. Places like that simply don’t exist.

Oh yes, there are clubs and bars where those older guys go looking to meet young babes. But women like Sue wisely stay away, not wanting to compete with younger women in a meat-market atmosphere.

Women get irked at me and suggest I’m not worth my weight as a columnist since I can’t come up with specific places where single men hang out. Last week, this column suggested women go to an antique car show because men like to talk about their vintage cars and it’s easy to engage them in conversation. No women reported they went to the show, or that they met somebody there, but at least we gave them a suggestion for a place where single men might be on a warm, Sunday afternoon.

My book, “Finding Love After 50: How to Begin. Where to Go. What to Do,” (http://www.findingloveafter50.com/book_page.html) offers this advice to singles on where to go: “People need to get off the couch, away from the computer screen, out of the house, and pursue activities and hobbies that interest them. Meeting new people is vital.

“Singles should go out to spice up and revitalize their lives, grow, have fun and experience new things. While doing that, they might meet a mate, they might not, but in doing so, they’ve improved their chances greatly.”

I also tell singles that it’s important, however, not to go out for the sole purpose of trying to meet a mate. When singles do that, they come off as looking too hard—even desperate—and other singles sense that and will avoid them altogether.

We hear about the importance of attitude so much that it’s almost a hackneyed thought, but I cannot stress enough how important it is for singles to have a positive, non- judgmental attitude when they are out and about.

Negative singles get passed over in the love search.

In my book, I suggest reunions and weddings as must places to go. Joining clubs and doing volunteer work are important activities, as are going back to school and travel. And now we’ve added antique cars shows to the list.

Jude, Dana Point, California, said, “I have no problem meeting men. They are everywhere. You just have to be friendly and approachable. Walking in Dana Point Harbor is a great place to meet people.”

By not using the Internet, Sue has excluded herself from one of the most prolific ways older women meet older men. In spite of the negatives that accompany Internet dating, there are endless success stories for the “finding love after 50” group about how older singles met mates on the Internet. It should be at least a small part of Sue’s mix of activities.

So where should Sue and single women in general go to meet men? Anywhere and everywhere, it’s the getting out with new people that’s important. Fate will take over from there.

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